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| I also want to point out a very important issue that we often hear from guests. At every event we often have around 50% new guests. Which is pretty awesome as it keeps the events fresh and full of energy. However please keep this in mind. Because often a couple is sitting alone talking. So perhaps they are new as you are. They are not being rude or trying to ignore you. Everyone needs a few drinks to become comfortable before they start mixing n mingling. We often suggest that when you are ready to mix n mingle and meet some new friends. Either head to the bar which is a great gathering spot or head to the dance floor. Both are great ice breakers as coming out to a party is all about meeting new faces and having a great night out away from the daily grind. So many people assume that they are the only new face and that everyone else is a regular party guest. Your party hosts try out best to mix n mingle but by later in the night we often miss so many as it becomes a impossible tasks as the parties get going. So if we miss you do not hesitate to look or ask for us. We would love to meet you. Now go forth and have fun as that is what it is all about. |
| This thread is over a year old but it still pertains to all new couples finding this site trying to decide if its for them or not. As with the new year we get alot of new couples who find the site and join. It's a good read and answers alot of questions. Plus be sure to check out the Q & A section at the top of the page as many other questions will be answered. If you still have more questions do not hesitate to write us as we are the hosts and are here to answer as best as we can. |
| Thank you all for the comments and feedback. :) |
| OMG This is exactly how we feel. We have been to a couple of clubs and nothing really clicked. So mostly we just sat it out and have not done anything at all, I think that's mostly a comfortability issue and because we like people so much it can be hard to set boundaries and not come off rude. Whoever wrote this nailed it. I guess we just have to try again and not worry that we are being to picky. Good stuff. |
| Awww. Thanks DP. I try to share. See ya'll soon with a copy in my pocket. LOL |
| Awesome, fantastic, two thumbs up forum post. Lots of great points, suggestions and probably should be printed out, highlighted, put into your pocket for referring back to later. For when you are in the club, had a few drinks and your brain is running at warp speed with all kinds of crazy ideas. Pull it back out of your pocket and refer back to it before you upset your significant other. Okay I want to point out the obvious that was already referred to in the previous post.,,,," Thatbrings up the issue of ladies starting things. I hate to break it toyou, but the LS is mostly about the ladies. Maybe a few couples are okwith him running things but mostly the ladies rule. But we moveslooooooow. We get that. If its not for a little instigating from men,changes are nothing will happen, right? Wrong. You just have to bepatient and again, trust is everything. If she can trust you, youd besurprise what trouble shell get you guys into." Looks at the site colors, the layout, the themes etc.... Dp was obviously created for the sexxy ooh la la female. Everything we try to do is geared toward the ladies. From nice venues, enticing themes to how we created the site terminology. We have tried to create the perfect environment for the mature professional society to have their own girls gone wild atmosphere with a professional upscale twist. If you keep the female body happy then everyone is happy. We have seen to many guys over the years trick their significant other into coming out to a party. Then he cannot figure out why he is left standing their alone as she waits in the parking lot. Meaning talk, talk, talk some more and when she is ready to come out to a event, hit the dance floor, meet another couple for dinner etc.... She will let you know. So in closing, guys and gals talk, talk and talk some more. Discuss your wildest fantasies, limitations, do's, don'ts, secret slaps across your head signals (just joking) and you will have a great time. When you are ready you can create a membership profile. In the meantime, look at the party pictures together, themes and when you are ready come out to a event. We have a very respectful community and we love meeting new friends. If you come out to a event and sit alone. Do not be offended if party guests do not come up to you to meet you. Because we understand that most like to come into a party and get climated. For some having total strangers come up to them can be oppressive as you are trying to see what the parties are all about. We understand that when you get up, hit the dance floor, go to mingle at the bar etc.. that you are comfortable and ready to meet others. Its all about respect, fun and having a evening uniquely different than going out for dinner or the movies. We are all adults here and its about fun times, letting our hair down so to speak and leaving the daily stresses at the door. So check out the Q&A section and welcome to the Dp community whether you are a member or a site visitor. Hope to see you at a event in the future.
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I received an e-mail the other day with questions on HOW to go about starting something in the LS. Man, its funny because not too long ago, we were asking the same thing and based on who is still around these days, I guess we could be considered a Veteran Couple. Maybe well change our name to that. NOT. LOL So, Ill provide my ever spectacular thoughts on this and maybe some of the other old school folks that are still around can provide some insight as well. Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts and opinions - opinions are like ass holes, everybody has onesome are just cleaner then others. ;) The first bit of unsolicited advice that I want to share is to make sure you are both interested and know your expectations. You cant jump in and not be on the same sheet of music, because confusion and insecurity fosters drama and one thing most couples have in common is NO DRAMA. We all have our own, we dont want yours too. LOL. So, you wanna make sure your objectives are clear. Are you full-swap, soft, girls gone wild, looking for a single M/F or just good old vanilla? This is never set in stone, it can change if wanted, but thats something you have to chat about. If you choose a single, what can you do or not do. So, if you havent ironed that part out, you should stop reading now. ;) We started by going out to the clubs and then found out about the websites after. On-line is GREAT but there is no comparison to meeting a couple and getting to know them. Not everyone photographs well and sometimes those dang pics stop us in our tracks. Te he he. Start off with NO EXPECTATIONSheck, we still leave the house thinking that. Go out with the intentions of dancing the night away and just having fun. This way if thats ALL that happens, youre not disappointed. It's an awesome night and you both can talk till the sun comes up about how much fun it was. In the event you should meet a couple that you are both interested in, relax and go with the flow. No pressure should be involved from either of you, as a couple applied to each other, or from your new friends. This is soooo important cause pressure is a mean mixer. Too much and lights can go off. Even if you do decide to go back to a hotel room, jacuzzi or house, the age old saying NO means NO still applies. So, feel comfortable in knowing that you can go back for an after party or group setting and just chill, you can just watch, you can leave once you get there or you can eat up all the groceries they have. LOL. Ohhhhh, thats funny but absolutely happens. Keep an open mind and know that nothing you dont want to have happen, will happen. You have each others back and for those ladies who are extra nervous, your man isnt going to let anybody hurt you. He loves you...if he drops you at the door and vanishes, I recommend replacing him immediately. LOL. Ok, these are just jokes. Now, that brings me to a very important point. What if something is about to happen that you dont like or even if it has started and its not going in a direction you like? (deflecting: dont you love how I talk in code. LOL) There is no sugar coating this oneits very simple. Stand your ground and SPEAK UP. Hell, Ive been in situations where I just say NO. and smile but not really a smile so they know I'm serious. LOL. This goes for both people in a relationship and the key here is to remember that nobody in that room matters but you and your partner. If he/she is into something that you are not comfortable with you just need to say it and say it with confidence. Ideally you had this conversation beforesometimes it is in the car on the way. LOL. Here is where the special connection that you have needs to come in. If your partner says no to anything, then that needs to be IT. NO questions, NO gray area. I think this is more targeted towards the guys (sorry fellas), but often yall get a little excited and ahead of yourself. Relax. There is no rush and if you calm down and make sure your partner is comfortable, youll have the opportunity to have a second, third, fourth experience. Hello! If she hates it and leaves mad, chances of interest brewing again will be minimal. So calm down and dont try to experience everything in one night. LOL. That brings up the issue of ladies starting things. I hate to break it to you, but the LS is mostly about the ladies. Maybe a few couples are ok with him running things but mostly the ladies rule. But we move slooooooow. We get that. If its not for a little instigating from men, changes are nothing will happen, right? Wrong. You just have to be patient and again, trust is everything. If she can trust you, youd be surprise what trouble shell get you guys into. Soooo, what if you do like the couple and you DO want more to happen and everybody is comfortable but NOTHING is happening. All I can say about this is Welcome to the LS. :) This predicament is inevitable and will never go away. Thats a whole different blog, but for people like me, I find its best to just act how I feel: Grab someone by the hand and dance, pull a chin in and kiss, motorboat his face. LOL. Heck, I ask..."is it ok if I kiss you?" Smiles mean go, go, GO. Panic face means whap whap - no: Go directly to jail...do not go home, do not collect $200. LMAO. Any form of resistance means theyre not ready and thats ok. Its not rejection, just chalk it up to timing. So, what if you meet a Clingy Couple and they were nice, but now you want to move around and meet more people? Again, honesty is my best policy. I tell them, it was nice to meet you guys. Were gonna walk around now and say hi to some other folks. Not at all rude (or maybe it is to the soft at heart, tell them to grow up) but to me, we didnt say you couldnt join us and we didnt say we wouldnt be back. Maybe they want to meet new people too but theyre worried about leaving you? We like to say that the ONLY person we are married to is each other, so you really dont owe anybody else much of anything, not even an explanation as to why you are walking around. Youll find some clicks, dont be intimidated by them. Walk up and introduce yourself. My favorite line is just because I say hi does not mean we are going to do anything or that we even WANT to. So just say hi. DP offers a lot of great resources on the Forums and in the Q&A section. I personally am a fan of www.gentlenibbles.com - lots of great blogs and contributed pieces there from a neutral stand point. There are also a few books out on the LS that help. Ill leave that in your capable hands to find.
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