<< Resorts Cruises and Travel - Temptation Resort- Cancun, Mexico

Temptation Resort- Cancun, Mexico Mondays of Sex Jokes

May 19, 2015 6:02 PM (8+ Years)

Q: What did Boy George say to Micheal Jackson?

A: "You Beat It, and I'll cumma cumma cum." 

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May 12, 2015 1:19 PM (8+ Years)

The Flashlight

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.

After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".

The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!" 


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May 4, 2015 6:38 PM (8+ Years)

And for today a gastronomic joke

Q: What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?
A: Where you put the cucumber.

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Apr 13, 2015 4:07 PM (8+ Years)

What do you prefer?

Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.


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Mar 23, 2015 1:10 PM (9+ Years)

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, 
"Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" 
Sarah waves her hand, 
"Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" 
Miss Rogers says, 
"All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" 
Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." 
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 
"Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." 
Sarah says, 
"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

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Mar 9, 2015 3:19 PM (9+ Years)

Here's a little guess...

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? 
A Dick-tater.

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Feb 16, 2015 10:45 AM (9+ Years)


Do you think this is true?

Q. What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A. A rumor

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Feb 9, 2015 1:34 PM (9+ Years)

For today's joke

I saw a friend of mine at the main dinning room bar and he was slinging back shot after shot. I asked what he was doing and he said I am celebrating my first blow job. I told him that was great and said I will get you another shot. He said if 10 shots wouldn't get the taste out of his mouth he didn't think the 11th would help either..


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Jan 26, 2015 12:00 PM (9+ Years)

Here is the joke of the day.


“A man and a woman were approaching their 50th wedding anniversary. To celebrate, the woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night, and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed. 
On their anniversary night, at the table, the woman says, 
"Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were 50 years ago." 
The man replies, 
"Madge, hon, that's because they are sitting in your soup.” 

 

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Jan 12, 2015 2:54 PM (9+ Years)

Here's todays joke

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? 
"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"

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Jan 5, 2015 12:33 PM (9+ Years)

Are you feed your monkey?


A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” …. the girl smiled.
At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey has grown hair.”
Her sister smiled and said, “That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas.”


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Dec 29, 2014 8:58 PM (9+ Years)

We're at the middle of the week and it's time to smile because almost is friday!


A man and his wife were having sex one night in there bedroom. 
There little boy opens the door and says "Daddy what are you doing to mama?" 
Then the daddy says "Making you a little sister" 
And then the boy replies: 
"Hell no do it doggy style I want a puppy."

 

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Temptation Resort & Spa

Dec 22, 2014 1:03 PM (9+ Years)

Here's a little question


Q: What's the smallest hotel in the world? 
A: A pussy, because you have to leave the bags outside. 


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Dec 15, 2014 10:16 AM (9+ Years)

Be careful with the birthday surprises!

A man bought a Lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decided to test it at dinner: … 
DAD : Son where were you today during school hours? 
SON : At school (robot slaps the Son and he immediately changes his mind) Okay I went to the movies! 
DAD : Which one? 
SON : Harry Potter (robot slaps Son again!) Okay I was watching porno. 
DAD : What? When I was your age I didn’t even know porno! (robot slaps dad) 
MUM : hahahahaha! After all he is your Son! (robot gives Mum a hot dirty slap)

 

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Dec 8, 2014 10:40 AM (9+ Years)

This joke was sent it by a follower.

Whats the difference between girls aged
8,18,28,38,48,58 and 68

At 8: You take her to bed and tell her a story
At 18: You tell her a story and take her to bed
At 28: Your don't need a story to take her to bed
At 38: She tells you a story and takes you to bed
At 48: You tell her a story to avoid going to bed
At 58: You stay in bed to avoid her story
At 68: You take her to bed; and that will be a STORY....!!!!!

 

Temptation Resort & Spa is full with stories 

Dec 2, 2014 8:48 PM (9+ Years)

Here's why sometimes the small parties are the best ones 


Q: Whats 72? 
A: 69 with three people watching 

 

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Nov 18, 2014 11:01 AM (9+ Years)

Talking about marriage...

 

A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’ 
She replied, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’

 

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Nov 10, 2014 4:39 PM (9+ Years)

Here's why your next vacation at Temptation Resort are very important


Why is fresh air a lot like sex? 
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any. 


Don't miss this opportunity 

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Nov 3, 2014 12:22 PM (9+ Years)

Be careful with the birthday surprises!

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. 
My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. 
I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. 
As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. 
She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. 
We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. 
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" 
while I was waiting on the sofa... naked. 

 

 

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Oct 27, 2014 7:56 PM (9+ Years)

Be careful, when you bake a cake!

 

A little boy caught his mom and dad having sex. After, he asked, "What were you and daddy doing?" 
The mom said, "We were baking a cake." 
A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, "Were you and daddy baking a cake?" 
She said yes, and asked him how he knew. 
He answered, "Because I licked the frosting off the couch."

 

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